Its confirmed, I AM the tortoise!

Thanks to a whole lot of training, and support from so many wonderful friends, and others, I ran and finished my first ever distance race, the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront half marathon on Sunday!!!!! Huge thanks to Coaches Rick and Jenna, and my running buddies, Sue and Kaye, and to the TNT alumni runners like Tracy, who shared tips and such in the post-Sunday morning run coffee chats. And to every one of my supporters, particularly those that took the time to send me text message cheers. You made me smile every time one appeared on my watch while I was running. The few that arrived near the end were super helpful in keeping my pace up.

So let me share the excitement of my first ever race event.

I arrived in Toronto on Saturday morning, and walked from the downtown airport to the race Expo. There I picked up my race kit and bib, and had a look around, as it was my first race expo. I met and talked with Cheryl from TNT for the first time in person while there. Then it was on to my hotel, where I had expected to have to wait to check in since it was WAY before 3pm, but I was lucky and they had a room for me, so I was able to check in right away when it was only just noon. I began by unpacking my gear and getting ready for the following day.

I pack light.

Back of shirt.

Have to have a bib shot.

I had a pasta dinner with TNT folks Saturday night, Lots from Toronto there, so when I arrived I took a table by myself, since they seemed to be in established groups. This turned out to be fine, as Coach Jenna and I were the only ones there from Ottawa, and we got the other out of town  folks at our table, which was the contingent from North Texas. They were really nice and friendly, and we hit it off well.

Now comes the point where I have to say one huge thank you to all of my supporters. TNT thanked us participants at the dinner, and I was lucky enough to be the top fundraiser for the event for TNT. I could not have done that without all of you. Together, we raised over $9000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada!!!! That's just awesome. I think Kerry would be very pleased. Our charity was also the top charity for the race!

I barely slept Saturday night, I was so wound up about the race. Again, not so much the running part, but whether I would remember everything I needed, and would I find my way about, and basically all the logistical stuff that was not the actual putting one foot in front of the other part. I finally got up before the alarm went off. It was just after 5 am. I proceeded to try and prepare my body for the event, mainly my feet. My baby toes have had recurring blisters pretty much every week for last few weeks after my long run. I hesitate to say they actually healed between runs, because I don't think they did. So I knew they were likely to be my Achilles heal. I did my best to protect them, and I was in great spirits and feeling very determined when I headed off to the race area at 7 am.

Sunday morning was cold. It was just 3 degrees Celcius when we met up at the TNT pavilion before the start of the race. I made a last minute decision to wear my sweatpants rather than check them for post race, instead checking my yoga pants. I was wearing a ditch-able fleece jacket, gloves, and a windbreaker, but needed the extra on my legs during the 1.5 hour wait between bag-check/ meet up time and the actual race start. It was definitely one of the coldest days I have ever run on. I basically had my TNT vest, shorts, and sleeves as my running attire. I knew once I started I would warm up, but the waiting part was just plain cold. Many were wearing garbage bags even though they had put on extra gear.

We headed as a group to the start corrals, after posing for group photos. I think there were like 45 of us, all in our TNT gear, even if some us did not have it visible due to jackets and garbage bags. :)  A few of us peeled off into the faster corrals, but most of us were in the last runner corral, the purple one, for the slower folks. I was fine with that. I AM slow. I certainly would not want to get in the way of faster folks. I mean, I figured I was going to be passed by some of  the walkers anyway :)

In the corral, we huddled together, using our collective heat to keep warm. As the start time approached, we ditched the more bulky items, like sweat pants and sweaters. I left my fleece and pants, and tried to think warm thoughts while dressed in just my shorts, TNT singlet, and thin windbreaker. I left on my gloves though. I bounced, and shivered, and as the minutes counted down to the start, I began to warm up just from excitement. Every time a corral ahead of us started, we got to move up. The announcers at the start were great at building the excitement, and making even those of us in the slow purple corral feel special.

Finally, it was our time, and the slowest of the runners, myself among them, took off under the start banner, our chip timers beginning their count as our bibs crossed over the timer mats. People were cheering us on, shaking their cowbells, and blowing whistles and horns. It was very inspiring.

I had my race plan to follow, so while everyone took off rather quickly, and people were passing me to either side, I settled into my planned pace- a slow and steady 8:30min/km. I was hoping to finish in 3 hours or maybe even a couple of minutes under that, but this was the farthest I had ever run, and I mainly wanted to finish it, more than meeting a specific time. So I let the other runners pass me. And then some of the faster walkers too. I was smiling and enjoying the experience.

Proof that I was smiling a lot.

I tried not to really think about the route. I knew that I would not get lost, and I did not really want to focus on how far I had gone, or how far I had left to go. I wanted to just run, and take in the crowds cheering, and what it felt like to run with so many other people around. I had a small taste of that at the Terry Fox fun run I did, but that was NOTHING compared to being one of something like 20000 people all running the same course with you.

It was nice to see so many cheering despite how cold it was, and that I was at the back, with the bulk of the runners well ahead of me. They could have gone inside and left us slow folks to run without cheers, but many did not do that. The drink stations were well staffed and equipped, and I always managed to get a drink. I was glad I had decided to walk through the stations, as the pavement was slick with Gatorade and water and discarded cups, and I saw more than one person around me slip, or trip a bit, on them. But I did not walk for long, and I went back to my slow run as soon as the debris lessened.

I loved the first part, with its slow downhill, and the residential area and shops. We ran past the medal landmark for this year's event, Honest Eds. That was neat. I loved the school that had its cheerleaders out with their pom poms, doing cheers as we ran by. I loved the folks sitting on their porches in their winter coats, some with pets and small kids, who cheered us on. I loved the many wacky signs  that were being held up to encourage and motivate us. I loved the cheer station from one of the radio stations that was blasting some excellent reggae music that had me dance run past them.

Then it was onto Lake Shore. It was still cold. I only removed my gloves around 6 km in. I was still in my windbreaker. This stretch of the course was not as visually interesting, and I mainly relied on my music to carry my feet along. At the 10 km mark, I was doing well, pace just shy of my goal, at 8:37/km. I tried to go a bit faster after that, but there were fewer folks cheering, and it was still cold. Still I was happy to be out there, and I really do think I had a smile on my face the whole time. When the smile started to fade from the cold, I just added in a bit of dance to my tunes, and that picked my feet up again, along with my lips. I finally managed to remove my coat somewhere around the 15 km mark. By the time I entered into the final stretch, up the hill of Bay street, the wind was whipping down the street, and I almost put it back on again.

I know that Kerry was running with me as I passed 18 km, and was into the farthest I have ever run stretch, the last 3.1 km to the finish line. I was still smiling.

Last 100m, trying to forget the blister.

My toes were aching around 19 kms. I took an unplanned walk break for a bit around 20 kms, naturally right before coach Jenna shows up to run with me. I KNEW that would happen. LOL. But she got me back running, and I was managing about 8:00/km pace with her in the last km. I was still smiling at that point, with about 400 m to go, right about when Jenna had to peel off to go encourage her next TNT runner, when the reason for my aching toes became instantly apparent. A blister broke on my left baby toe. As I described to others, the pain was intense, as sweat and broken blister met. I saw through space and time. I am sure I was not smiling then. I kept going though, still running, as I was so close to the finish. Another TNT coach, Katie, met me with 300 m to go and ran with me to within 100 m of the finish line. At that point, I pulled on my love of Kerry, and recalled all he went through. The thoughts made me strong enough to push aside my trivial pain. I had experienced a far greater pain than a mere blister. And I had experienced a far greater love and joy. I recalled both, and pulled on the joy that was loving Kerry. I sprinted (well, ok, it was a sprint for me anyways :) ) to the finish line. I wanted to end the race strong, just as Kerry had remained strong through all he went through.

I was smiling then, as I crossed the finish.  Here is the proof.

Crossing the finish.

My chip time was 3:01:42.  I was the Tortoise. But like the Tortoise, I finished the race. Not quite last, but definitely at the back of the pack. I do not care. I FINISHED!!!

OVERALL PLACE	10236/10528
GENDER PLACE	5402/5619
CATEGORY PLACE	450/471

OVERALL PLACE

10236/10528

GENDER PLACE

5402/5619

CATEGORY PLACE

450/471

I continued to smile for the rest of the day, I think.  A friend, on seeing some of these images, asked me why I was smiling so much, wasn't running 20k supposed to be hard work? My reply was that I smiled because of why I was doing it, and I smiled because I could.

Smiling at TNT post race check-in

Still smiling at my hotel later.

I never once forgot that I was running this for Kerry.

And George.    

And Patrick.     

And Anthony.    

And Lyne.    

And Little Sam.     

And everyone who has survived the battle with blood cancer, is still fighting it, or who did not win.  

Every one of them was in my mind as I ran.     

And every one of them was in my heart as I finished.   

They are the real heroes.

It's Time.

Here we are, just a day away from the race!!!! I had hoped to post something after doing my 18k run (which went well, by the way), but I have been so busy with life and training and preparing for the event and the coming of winter, that this is the first chance I've had to sit and write.

So yes, I did my first 15k long run a few weeks ago. I was slow, but I made it through. Then I did another 10k at split pace, and that felt longer than the 15k for whatever reason. Some days are good days and others not so much. Then I did the 18k run, and apart from some butt cramping in the final kilometer, it went well. I had a good pace (~8:45min/km average) and felt good. I was in my race day apparel and gear, and did the whole nine yards for prep (taping pressure points on feet, using body glide, etc.) to make it as close to a dry run of race day as possible. My plan is to run between water stations (about every 3km) and walk for 100-200m as I pass the water stations and drink. This will break the race into smaller chunks. I have my Stinger's Chews for energy and electrolyte replacement, and will have a bag of those 45-60 minutes, again what I have been practicing during long runs. I have never gotten into the gel stuffs, and I like the chews for ease of use and that I can munch on them over a longer duration (one bag lasts me up to 10km! hehehe It's like a reward every km!)

I know I will finish. The only questions are in what shape and in what time, and those go hand in hand and can't be answered in advance. :) I have prepped the best I can. Now I rely on adrenaline, my fellow runners, those cheering us on, and luck, to determine the specifics of my finish. :) I have even provided my sponsors and friends with a way to send me remote cheers as I run. I will make good use of hubby's smart watch that he barely got to use before he passed away. Plus, its a little bit of him that will be with me while I run, as it has been since I first strapped it on my wrist in April. Folks can also follow my progress via http://www.sportstats.ca/ .  My bib number for the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Half Marathon is 12335.

Kerry has been on my mind frequently of late. As race day approaches, I can't help but wish he was here to see me do this, waiting for me at the finish reunification area to hug my sweaty self and congratulate me. I wish I could hug him back and tell him how he inspired me, and gave me the courage and reason to run. Yet in a weird way, I know I could never have done this if he were still here. He always used to undermine my resolve on exercising and food. Not out of any malice or intent. It's just he was not a morning person for exercise and would always ask me to stay a while longer before getting up. Or he would be out somewhere and see some treat that he knew I liked and he'd bring it home for me, and of course, he loved his chips and such so they were always in the house, tempting me.  In truth, I loved his sweetness in both of these gestures, but it did make consistent exercise and diet difficult. Still, I miss him and wish he could see what I have accomplished these past many months. I will readily admit that I have cried more again in these last few weeks, thinking about the whys and reasons, and the passage of time. While I don't have anyone going with me outside of my fellow TNTers, even if friends or family were go with me, I'd still feel alone, because Kerry is still the main person I want to be there for me.

There is a part of me that believes he still walks beside me however. A part that says he is watching over me, and will be with me during my race. I hear his voice in my head, teasing me and encouraging me in his usual sarcastic way. This part of me knows he knows I do this in his honor, and that he is proud of me. So while I miss his actual presence, I feel that he will be with me in some way. Like everything since he passed away, it's not the way I want it to be, but it's what I now have.

I have been obsessing about what to bring with me to Toronto for the race, and worrying whether I will remember to pack it all. I have had a list going for more than a week now, and have been putting things aside for the last week. I think I am more anxious about this aspect than the running itself. While VISA can get me out of trouble should I forget something, it won't be the tried and true broken in something that will ensure my success :)  I am sure I will be in full on panic before I am done the packing tonight. Hopefully I manage to get some sleep, as I am not sure how much I will get tomorrow night in the hotel.

The forecast at the moment is for a cool day in Toronto, with some sun. This sounds ideal, at least for me. I will still be racing in my vest and shorts, as I get hot when I run. However, the waiting for an hour and a half or more before I start running is yet another thing to plan for. I have a cheap jacket I will wear and toss when I get warm, but do not have the same for my legs, not having found anything suitable for that purpose. So I guess I will wear a garbage bag skirt before the race to stay warm and toss it right as I start. I have gloves to toss when I get warm too. My sleeves I will just roll down onto my wrists if I need to. I also have planned for some post-race warm clothes, since even on hot days I get the chills for half an hour to an hour shortly after I cool down from the effort. Now, the blankets they give out at the finish of a longer race make a lot of sense.

(That's 49/40°F for reference)

 

Saucony Xodus 5.0 GTX

Ronhill Womens Vizion Winter Tight

As I mentioned earlier, I have signed up for the Tinkerbell Half Marathon in May. This means I have incentive to run over the winter. I think fate has been telling me this is what I am supposed to be doing, as when I was in COSTCO the other day they had some long-sleeved Adidas tops for $3.97. So I picked up several. Then, when I went into RunningRoom to get my socks for race day and the Body Glide, they happened to have some RonHill Winter Tights on sale. They just had 2 pair, and both fit me. They were on for half price, at just $45 each. So I picked those up too. Then, since obviously I am supposed to keep running based on these steals, I decided I better get some shoes too. After trying on a few waterproof ones, I settled on the Saucony Xodus 5.0 GTX. They have a good tread and should handle some snow, as well as being waterproof. The only things left to get are some gators if I plan to actually run in snow rather than on plowed/packed snow, and some sort of outer layer. I am thinking the outer layer will make a nice Christmas gift to me from someone, so will put that on my list.





Okay, moving on before my mind contemplates a Christmas without Kerry....

Stats. I have to give a final update on the stats for this endeavor. Not that my running is over, but the training for THIS event of it is, aside from one last 45min run I will be doing right after this. So you can add that time and another ~5k to these for my final stats before the race.

Count:	95 Activities
Distance:	515.15 km
Calories:	37,064 C
Time:	83:17:23 h:m:s
Avg Distance:	5.42 km
Avg Speed:	6.2 km/h
Max Avg Speed:	7.2 km/h
Avg HR:	135 bpm
Steps:	592,256 s
Avg Run Cadence:	62 spm
Max Run Cadence:	123 spm

I have lost about 25 pounds, give or take 1-2 depending on the day, since Kerry passed away, with more than half of that since starting to run.  So I am still a heavy 167-170 pounds. I had hoped I might lose more, but what can I say? I love food. Like the Oatmeal, I think being able to eat what I like is one of the perks of running, in my opinion. :)   So maybe weight loss for me will be more gradual than others might experience. Still, I hope to cut back a bit over the winter, when I will train a bit less intensely, and hopefully I will come into the spring and the increased training for the Tinkerbell with a few more pounds shed.

To the fundraising, my total is now at over $9000. Some of that was me. I had heard from several other fundraisers that many people do not like donating when the event in question has minimums that participants have to raise, which go to covering the participant's support by the organizaton, in this case things like our coaches, race entrance fee, training/race day shirts, and support on injury prevention, nutrition, and fundraising. So I vowed that I would cover my minimum fundraising commitment myself, at the end. Its part of the reason I picked something close to home with a lower minimum. The other part was that the lower the minimum, it felt like more of what I would raise/contribute would go to the cause. I had no idea going into this what amounts I might raise, and my inital goal was just $2500.  Some people may do these sort of charity runs as opportunities to run somewhere exotic with less out of pocket to themselves, but that's not for me. Even if I were to pick a more distant race, I would still cover the minimum commitment amount needed myself.

So off I go for one last pre-race run. Tomorrow I fly to Toronto, and will pick up my race kit and bib, and see a bit of the race expo (not too much as I don't want to tire my legs!). This will be followed by a TNT pasta dinner after I check into my hotel. Then I will try and get some sleep. Sunday morning it will be up at the ass-crack of dawn to get prepped. Eat my small usual breakfast of a bagel and peanut butter (bringing it with me so I know its my usual!). Apply protection to my feet (I found some nice thin fabric bandages that cover nicely and stay put).  Glide up my body where I might get chafed. Then with my bag of post race gear in hand, I will head to the start area and check in my bag before meeting up with the ~40-50 other TNT folks that will be racing on Sunday with me. Most are from Toronto, but I am told some will be up from Texas! I will get to meet many of them Saturday night, but all of us are to meet up at 7:45am Sunday morning before we head en masse to the start corrals. At 9:05am, those of us in the purple corral, myself and the other runners who are the slowest apart from the walkers, will get to go. I hope to finish in 3 hours, but I will take a finish at any time before the 3 hour and 50 minute cutoff. And in any shape.

Like this woman, for instance.

I am excited, nervous, sad, elated, and a whole host of other emotions.

Wish me luck.




Kerry, this race, and all the effort I have given it, is for you. I love you baby, and I am getting in shape like you wanted me to. You are my inspiration. After everything you went through, and the strength and courage you demonstrated, this does not even compare. Hopefully my efforts give some meaning to everything you endured. In a weird way, its been helping me cope with the loss of you. You are the reason I run. Or rather, the lack of you.