Time to Sizzle!

Well here we are, on the eve of my next half marathon. We are having some mighty hot weather right now, with humidity, so they have made some changes to the run starts for a few events. They pushed the 10K today (Saturday) back till 7pm to avoid some of the heat, and they have pulled in the start for my half tomorrow morning from 9am till 8:15am. They are also adding more water stations, some misting stations, some ice stations, and even a few air-conditioned buses at the first aid locations around the course for those that need to take a short respite during the race. The organizers are very concerned about people pushing too hard in the heat. The temperature high is still sitting at 31 Celcius, but will be higher with the humidex, Nothing like what some parts of the world get and folks run in, but here we had frost and 0 degrees just two weeks ago, so not much time for runners from around here to get accustomed to running in the heat yet. Plus the marathon event is also an official Boston qualifier (if I recall correctly- I am not up to marathon levels yet), so some are sure to be pushing even with the heat and the warnings to go easier.

For myself, I have done what I can, having done some runs during the week at noon to try to experience the heat and try to handle it. I will run with a wet sponge in my hat, and my wet cooling cloth across the back of my neck and over the tops of my shoulders, inelegantly tucked under my bra straps to keep it in place. I will take 2-3 cups of water at every water station- one for my mouth, one for my head, one for my neck and back.  I will take my chews for electrolyte replacement.  I am prepared to go slower, and even walk if needed.  Yet, if  I have to abort, I will do that too. I want to finish the race, not myself. :)   I will try and enjoy the race; the scenery, the people, the cheer stations, the music, and yes, even the weather. I will smile despite now having to get up earlier in order to get in and park and get to the Team in Training meetup before heading to the start corrals.

I am once again the top individual fundraiser for Team in Training for this event. So a huge thank you to all my sponsors! I could not do it without you!

Ok. Time to finish eating, have some more water, and hit bed early. I will be up before 5am in order to do final preps, get my before race food ready, and then get into Ottawa.

Almost there!

So here we are with less than a month to go till race day on May 29! So little time left!  That said, things are going well. My fundraising goal is within sight, and the training is progressing on track. With spring now here, the days are just packed, so I am actually looking forward to a bit of a rest after the race. Ok, maybe the week after the race as I am registered to do the 6K Mud Hero on June 4th. Then the Perth Kilt Run at end of June. Maybe that rest will be a bit further off than I might like. LOL  Oh well.

The personal training sessions are continuing. We've moved into doing mostly strength training on Mondays, and some cardio kickboxing on Wednesdays. I still follow both workouts with some additional cardio. I mix it up with the rowing machine, the elliptical, and the bike. I go for ~3k walks on these days at lunch most weeks, and I have decided to run at lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Nothing far (~4-5K), but since my time has been not entirely my own these days, its about the only window I have found to fit in the running I need apart from Sunday mornings. Speaking of the Sunday morning long runs, I have now run 15k without walk breaks! I have also set personal best times for 10K for the last 3 weeks in a row! Fingers crossed that this holds through race day too! For last weeks 15K I did it in 2:03. Previously that had taken me at least 2:18 to do, so that's about 15 min better, or a minute less per km pace.

I have been running for 2 years now, and everyone has been telling me that if I keep at it I will get faster. I had been thinking they were nuts, as it was not happening for me. Till now. I am nowhere near fast. However I am visibly better this past month and I have been feeling so much stronger. I am actually excited for race day, and seeing what I can achieve. My goal is still finish injury free, but if I just run as I have been these last few weekends, I am optimistic that I will have a personal best finish for a half marathon.

Looking back on my two year journey so far, its been quite amazing what I have been able to accomplish. The journey is far from over, but sometimes its motivating to stop and look at how far one has come. From couch potato to run/walking half marathons, to running 15k without walking, and still going. If I can do this, what else can I do?

If I can do this, what can YOU do if you set your mind to it?

Two months to go

I ran the 10K Winterman on Valentine's Day. They changed the start time to a later time due to the extreme cold forecast. So I think it might have been a degree or two warmer than last years, but still very, very cold. This year the sun was shining though, and there was very little snow across the road, so overall a better race. I was the last runner to cross the finish. One of the volunteers on bike kept me company for pretty much the entire last out and back 5K. I had to walk a lot as the cold triggered my cough. Still, I finished in faster time than last year, and I finished!  So that's really all I ask for.


The pic to the left is me before the race, wearing  three layers on my top, four on my bottom, with base layer on my head. There are two more top layers on the back of the chair (down filled running jacket and a windbreaker), and another hat, down-filled mittens, and face mask in the plastic bag. I was definitely prepared for the cold!

There are just 2 months left before my next half marathon, on May 29th. It seems like a lot, but I know that the training has to be in earnest  now in order to be prepared. The time will go by very quickly.

I am still working with a personal trainer 2 days a week. We do strength training with some cardio. I always finish with at least another 15 min of cardio.  I try to run 1-2 times during the week in addition to my long run. At least now the clocks have changed and I can run after work when I get home as its still light out most days. I feel overall much stronger and I believe its showing in my runs so far.


For the first time, on Easter weekend, I was able to run 10k without the need for a walk break!  This is a huge milestone for me. Not only that, but I did the distance at a faster pace than I have in the past. I am going to keep pushing myself to run without walking as I go farther and farther.  I am sure to walk during the race at the water stations, but hopefully not a lot or for all of them :)

I am excited that spring is finally here. Sure, the weather is being temperamental still, but the geese and the robins are back, snow is almost gone, and the days are getting longer! I always feel the most energized in the spring. I am hoping it serves me well with the training and the race. I can't wait to get out on my bicycle again too. I have plans to get up to 50K+ rides this year on my hybrid wheels. Maybe next year I will invest in a road bike too, but for now I will stay on the rural roads around my home and be thankful for the suspension and wider tires.

My fundraising is going much slower this time around than before. Truthfully, I have been so busy that I am not pushing it as hard as last time either. I will send out some more reminders, and a few tweets and posts on Facebook, and I know that I will make the goal. If you can spare even a few dollars to help the cause, it would be much appreciated!

Long time no posts

So, I have not posted anything for over a year. Mainly because I am lazy, and busy with life. That's not to say I have not been out there, running!  So let me catch you up on what I have been up to since my first half marathon and last post.


After the Toronto Waterfront half, I did my best to stay motivated and running throughout the winter. It was tough running in snowy cold Ottawa, but I managed to get out 1-2 times a week, and if the Sunday longrun was often more walk than run, well at least we (my running buddies and I) were out there and being active. To help motivate ourselves, we signed up for the Winterman 10K race, in February. This is traditionally held on the last weekend of Winterlude, and in 2015, this also happened to coincide with the coldest spell of the entire winter. The morning of the race, it was -29 celcius with a -40 windchill. The wind was whipping, and snow was blowing up the embankment to the road the race was held on, blasting our faces and covering the road in snow. I did the race wearing 4 layers on my legs, 5 layers on my top, down mittens, a thick fleece hat, and a fleece face mask that covered my nose, ears, and neck. My lashes were covered in ice when I got done, and many participants had to be checked for frost bite. However, I finished! Slow, but since a lot of registrants chickened out, I ended up fifth in my category. Made it seem like I was way more awesome than I am LOL.

Winterman Bling!

Those of you that have read my blogs so far know that I had signed up to do the Tinkerbell Half in Anaheim California in May of 2015. Well, I did it!  It was a tough race, as I came down with a shin splint around kilometer 15 or so, and had to walk most of the rest of the race. That said, it was so much fun. So many participants were in costumes, and running through the Disney park, including some of the areas behind the scenes, was truly a treat. I finished the race only a few minutes slower than my first half, which I was pleased with given the walking.

Meeting Tinkerbell

Past the Disney Castle

Photo-op with some Fairies

Finished!

The Bling!!!

I had to rest a bit after this race, but I still felt up for doing the Perth Kilt Run, in Perth, Ontario in June. This is an 8 km race, and all participants must wear a proper kilt. It holds the Guinness record for most kilt wearing runners in a race. I walked a lot of it, as did not want to overdo my leg while it was healing, and also it was dang hot running in a kilt! I still finished looking strong and fast :)  For finishing, I got a spurtle, some shortbread cookies, and beer. What a race!

Historic Perth, Ontario

Looking fast, but not really.

Finishing!

Since many of my friends and supporters had commented that I should run a local half marathon, I signed up for the Army Run half in September 2015. Training went very well, and I was optimistic that I might finally finish a half in under 3 hours. However, I put my back out a week before the race. It felt fine after a few days, so I opted to run. I set a PB for 10K and was pacing with the 2:45 race bunny. But my back was not happy and by just after half way, I was forced to start walking. I walked dang fast, and kept pushing. I finished in a lot of pain, but set a new PB for a half marathon, despite the walking! Needless to say, I holed up and did nothing for several weeks after the race, to allow time for things to heal.

Coming back from the QC side

Heading to the finish, despite the pain

Finishing!

Next up will be the Winterman 10K again next month (Feb 14). I am hoping for better weather than last year heheh. I will not be fast, as I have been fighting some virus thing since before Christmas, but I will get out there anyways and do my best.


Then I AM BACK FOR MY SECOND TNT RACE!!!! That's right! I have registered with Team in Training again, and this time will be doing another local Ottawa race, the Tamarack Ottawa Half Marathon!. End of May is the time frame. So here I go again, raising funds, and getting myself in shape in order to support the cause that got me started with running.



As I write this, its coming up on two years since Kerry passed away. I am sure many of you want to know how that part of my life is going as well. It's going okay. Actually, some might say better than okay. I am getting out there and doing things I have always wanted to do, and living life. Kerry wanted me to keep going, wanted me to enjoy myself. Knowing that, how could I do anything else without disrespecting his memory?  I did the Tinkerbell race, and went to California by myself. Yes, I went to Disney by myself too and had a blast on the rides! I took a three day performance driving course, and drove cars at speeds in excess of 200kph!!! I am doing another course this summer, and likely will hit the local track in my own car for some fun too. I am headed to Italy for three weeks this coming fall. I am dating again. I am singing with a choir group and will perform again this year at Bluesfest (yup, I sang at Ottawa Bluesfest last summer. How many of you can say that? :) ) I smile often, and laugh lots.

Does the above mean I have forgotten Kerry? No. Not even close. I miss him every day. The hole is still present in my heart. I believe it always will be. However, I am finding that I am dealing with the pain better and better every passing day. The hole is there, but I am building up some amazing things around it.  Do I still cry sometimes? You bet I do. Particularly right now, as the memories of our last days together rear up vivid and urgent. Yet I feel that I have to live, and live well, or else all that he and I had together would be for naught. Moving on without him is not something I ever thought I would be doing, or anything I wanted to do, however, that's precisely what I have to do in order to give meaning to our love. Its like I have to live for two now, and most of the time, I am living fully, joyfully, and for every moment.

One Month To Go

So. If any reading this want to contribute to my fundraising, we are in the final 3 weeks of the campaign. Oct 7, 2014 is the deadline. This time next month, my race will be done, and I will be soaking sore muscles and eating rich foods! I am getting nervous and excited now. Things are coming together, and the reality of what I am doing has hit home. Not that I fear I can't do this- quite the opposite! I have done 12k runs so far, and this weekend will be my first 15k run. I have done interval training. I have done a split pace 10k. There have been more opportunities for learning, and each has helped prepare me.

Belleisle Marsh Trail (near the start)

Over the Labour Day weekend, I took a trip home to NS to visit my parents. I had to do a long run and an interval training day while there. Not wanting to run on the roads (was not sure about traffic and condition of the shoulders) I instead ran on some trails. This was actually quite enjoyable. However trail running is not the same as running on pavement. The first trail was my 10K run, and it was pretty, but not super maintained. The trail was essentially a tractor path through a nice wetlands area, so while there was some gravel and dirt bits, there were also narrow ruts, rocks, and a lot of overgrown grass that liked to catch my shoes. Never once did my foot land in a nice even position, and it was a lot of work on my legs. However, I can't see that as a bad thing!  The interval day trail was shorter, again around a wetland pond, and I had to do laps of it. It was better maintained, and more gravel covered. It was a very good session. That was the good learning.

French Basin Trail

French Basin Trail

On arriving home I discovered a had a few blisters on my feet. The ones I found were on my heel and top of one of my toes, and I thought not much of them, thinking it was the still newish non-running shoes I had worn during my trip. I tried to go for my Thursday run the next day and had to abort. The balls of my feet were so sore!  Of course, I get back home and find blisters there too. So I cleaned them and bandaged them up, and did not run that day or the next day. They felt and looked better on Sunday, so I went out for my long run of 12k. By about 7k  I noticed them again. By 9k I was walking. They felt like bruises on the bottom of my feet and every foot strike was getting rather painful. So I walked for about a km, sort of on the sides of my feet. When the pain felt less, I finished the run running. I got home and fixed them up even better. I was able to run fine by Thursday, and no more issue since then. I now believe they may have started with the trail running, with its rocks and uneven surfaces, and the newish shoes just were the straw that broke the blisters back.

3/4 of Team Kerry

One of Kerry's co-workers formed a team in his memory for the 2014 Terry Fox Run, which was last Sunday. Of course, I had to participate once I learned of it.  My two running buddies registered too. It was a cool day-- 9 degrees C-- but perfect otherwise, and once I started running, even the coolness was welcome. The run fell on my split pace long run day, so that's what I did.  I managed 9min/km pace for first 5k and 8min/km for second. New PBs for 1 mi (12:18), 5k (39:59) and 10k (1:28:50)- the last two being each 2 minutes faster than previous times !!!! There was also some walking in both segments (once while waiting for buddy to use facilities and once when passing the finish area because the marked course was NOT 10km and I had to keep going but was throngs of folks and cars to get around). All in all a good day.
  
I have missed a few more days of running with the blisters and a few late days at work and the need to catch the lawn mowing between the rains. However, I think training is still on track and I am feeling good about being able to do the 21.1k on Oct 19. Starting to think about what I will be wearing, planning for a few different weather contingencies. I want to try to run with that gear for my next few long runs, so that I know it will be okay come race day. My race day shirt should be here in the next few days, so I can wash it a few times and decorate it, and basically break it in a bit.

Now for the stats, because you can't really see my progress in person, can you? Well, I have been holding steady still on the weight, despite hoping a few more pounds would drop off at some point. However, that's okay as I don't want to set myself up for failure at the race. I have put in some good training so far!

     Count:                82 Activities
     Distance:           410.12 km
     Calories:            31,073 C
     Time:                67:24:21 h:m:s
     Avg Distance:    5.00 km
     Avg Speed:        6.1 km/h
     Max Avg Spd:    7.1m/h
     Avg HR:            135 bpm
     Steps:              467,618 s

My concentration issues are getting better, although I am still too easily distracted for my liking. However, I have been able to focus much better in last month, both at work and in leisure. I have read a few more books now, and I have had some longer gaming session on the consoles/computer too. I am not there yet, but am feeling more like myself than I have in half a year. This is both a good thing, and something that bothers me. Part of me wonders, if I am getting better, does that mean I will forget? Rationally I know I won't, but such is the grief thought process.

Over half a year. Yes, its now been 7 months since Kerry passed away. As I write that, I am shaking my head in disbelief. It still seems so surreal at times. Time really has gotten messed up since his death. Sometimes it crawls along, barely moving. Then, at times like this, realizing that its been 7 months, it seems like it has passed at warp speed. I am coping, and I even can enjoy myself. I have gotten to a point where I can be me now without that seeming like a prison sentence. That does not mean the pain is not still there though. It just means I have gotten more used to it, and am more adept at functioning with it.  As others have said, you don't get over the loss of your lover and partner; you simply learn to live despite it.

Half Way

Its been a busy month and a bit since my last blog. Lots has been happening on all fronts, but finally a chance to get something written here.

So, lets start with the not so great things of the last month, and work to the good stuff.  First off, mid July had the first of the 'first' dates that I have to get through following Kerry's death- our anniversary. It would have been 26 years. I knew the day would hit me hard, and I prepared by booking the day off work. What I was not prepared for was that it was hard for about a week leading in to it and out of it as well. A definite low period for me, and probably the most depressed I've been since he died. However, with a lot of tissues, and some good people to talk to, I made it through. Next up will be his birthday, then Christmas.

Had a few more aches in the legs during that same period. I actually had to take one running day off, to see if the pain would abate. It did, so that was good. I think it was a combination of running more (now 4 days a week, and farther long runs), doing the repeated oval of track days, and my shoes actually wearing to the point they needed replacing. At any rate, after a sore-ish month, I think with the change of shoes, and muscles adjusting to the added activity, have finally combined to work for me, as the pain has been subsiding.

Worn Shoes

New shoes

 I went on my first solo trip as well, not far, just to Toronto to play tourist and take in a concert. I was supposed to run from the island airport to my hotel, and then back, to get in my weekly runs. However, I found I can not (yet) run with a backpack on. So I walked instead. Did 5.5km each way, so distance was good, but still missed the actual running workouts.

I have also discovered some of the less pleasant aspects of running. One of the track days happened to fall on one of our hottest days this summer, about 31 celcius before humidex. Track days are a harder workout, being as they are not "easy" pace but faster ones, plus we do some strength exercises before hand. Although I had been drinking water, my body decided it did not like the heat, and I must have had the start of a heat exhaustion. All I know is that I had to make a pretty dang fast 100m dash from where I was in my laps to the track bathroom, where I basically spent something like 15 min. After that, I could not run, and was still cramping something awful. I could  not risk driving for another half hour or so, for fear I would not make it my 40min drive home.

I also had my first major cramp while running. I've had a few where I caught them as they began, and I was able to walk them out, but last Sunday (10th)  I was supposed to run for 75 min, and in last 10min, my right calf just completely seized. I almost fell face first on the pavement since it was the leg taking my weight at the time. I stretched it, and had to walk the last bit of my run, hobbling somewhat, and the calf remained sore for pretty much all that week, even with massaging and stretching. One of the TNT alumni runners who still runs from the same coffee shop, met up with us as I was stretching the calf, and he suggested I need to start bringing electrolytes along now that I am going for more than an hour.

That's the bad. However, each was a learning experience, so here are some of the takeaways that I got from each.

1. I likely don't want to have nothing to do over the next "first" or subsequent ones. So I will plan to do something special for me. I did do a movie on our anniversary, but I needed to have a plan for the days around the date as well. So now I will look to maybe get away over Christmas to keep busy.
2. Keep an eye on the wear of my shoes, as perhaps the "estimated" wear distance is not going to be close to actual for me, given that I still weigh a bit more. I have already ordered 2 more pairs of my shoes, to be ready to change them at the first signs of leg pains again.
3. Once I get done my event, I will start running with a backpack more often, empty to start and building up weight. Its useful to run while I am doing the tourist thing. Or errands.
4. Prepare for hot days by being well hydrated PRIOR to the running, and bring electrolyes.
5. Prepare for the longer runs by being well hydrated, and having electrolyes along.

Now onto the things that are going well. My fundraising re-commitment has come and gone, and I am fully committed now for the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront half marathon!. I have surpassed my minimum fundraising amount, and am doing very well, being among the top 3 fundraisers in Canada right now. I am very pleased with how everyone has rallied behind me for this cause! If you have not yet contributed, there is still time- just click on the fundraising goal image to go to my secure site where you can make a donation via credit card.

This past month has seen the addition of track training to my schedule. I usually have to do a slightly modified version of the session the coach has planned, because all his athletes come out to track days, not just us TNT folks, and some of his clients are pretty darn fast folk, and some marathoners. So sometimes the track session plan would be as far as I have done on my easy long runs, so would be a real challenge to complete at faster paces LOL.  However, they do seem to help with my speed, and I have had some faster long run paces since starting the track interval training. I have set new PBs for 1km, 1mi, and 5k since starting track training. These are still not fast, but since I have been doing at least 5km for more than just last month, it shows that the speed is improving.

I also added some training buddies to my long runs. Since our TNT group is so small, its often just me, which is lonely and not very motivating. Thankfully, my friend S stepped up to the plate, and a friend of a friend, K, has also been coming out. Both are faster than me, but they go slower for me, although still usually a bit faster than I might do on my own. This is a good thing as it pushes me a bit past my comfort zone! Its nice to have the company along for sure.

Today, I had added another milestone, with the completion of my first 10km run. Training is just chugging right along, and we are just 2 months away now from the race. Its more than half way since I signed up with Team in Training, and almost half way in the training, and also just about half way in the distance I have achieved. I feel pretty confident that so long as I keep with the training per the plan, I will be finishing my first half marathon in two months.Right now, I'd say it will be in just over 3 hours.I won't have run 21.1km prior to race day; I think I will have done 18. So just as it is any time I do a new distance, my goal to to go nice and easy and get it done. If I have anything left in me, the last km or so will be where I give it.  I did use some electrolyte/energy chews for the first time today, and whether it was those, the cool sunny day, or the new shoes, but it was a great run. I felt energized and just good.

Concentration is still slowly improving, but I do think it is getting better. I was able to read my first book since hubby passed away, which for someone who used to go through anywhere from 3-8 books a month, well, taking 5 months to finish one book just had never happened before.

My physical stats have not changed much if at all since last month. Still the same weight, and such. However, I do eat more as well. I am definitely hungrier now that I run :)  Perhaps over the winter as I ease back a bit on the running, I can cut back on the eating too and trim down some more. However, I can't stop running, as I committed myself to a race in May. This one is just for me and my late husband. His favorite Disney character was Tinkerbell, so as soon as I heard of the Tinkerbell Half, I knew I had to run it :) So I signed up for it as soon as registration opened. I will have to step up the training come February latest, but I can ease up a after my race till then. Besides, its a nice excuse for a vacation in May to California heheh.

As to actual running and training stats, 

     Count:                70 Activities
     Distance:           324.86 km
     Calories:            25,624 C
     Time:                54:25:42 h:m:s
     Avg Distance:    4.64 km
     Avg Speed:        6.0 km/h
     Max Avg Spd:    6.6 km/h
     Avg HR:            136 bpm
     Steps:              366,628 s

Tomorrow will be 6 months since Kerry left this world. Its still an oddity of grief that this feels to me like both the longest time ever, and also like it was just yesterday. I still love him and miss him, and not a day goes by that I don't think of him, or talk to him. I hope that where ever he is now, he is pleased that I am hanging in there, coping, and continuing to live.

Slow and Steady

I am the Tortoise.

So here we are, another month since my last update, and three months since I started the actual physical part of this journey. Official coached training has begun, and things are moving along now. Today I had a group training session, and we ran an out and back route down Preston Street and the along the canal for a bit. I was a little nervous about my planned session, being as its the longest (and farthest!) I have ever run in my life. One hour of running, but split into four 15 minute segments to give me a chance to rest in between (3-4 minutes, no more), which I still need :).  I managed to keep my running pace close to 9 min/km, which is of course barely faster than walking. However, that's what I have to do currently if I want to go the time/distance. As my body becomes more used to this, perhaps I will be able to speed up. Today ended up at  just over 7.5 kms, which is pretty much one third of what I will do come race day. However, as I said going into this, I have no real expectations for my first half marathon (and my first distance race of any kind ever) beyond finishing it before the cutoff time. No pressure is how I plan to keep it. At least for this event. Who knows for the future.

When the coaching began, I was up to 6 min run intervals. The first assigned runs from the coach were 10 minute intervals-- three of them, with four of them on my first Sunday "long run".  I was intimidated, but determined. To my surprise, I did them. Then it was 2 x 15 minute runs and I did them too. Then was today's run, as mentioned above, and next week I do 2 x 20 minutes, with the plan of 2 x 30 minutes for next Sunday. Given that it took me almost 3 months to get from 1 minute of running to 6 minutes, and even then we are talking totals of only about 18-20 minutes of run time in a workout, jumping to 10 minutes with a total of 30 or more for the session seemed like an incredible leap. However, there is nothing to do but try. And as Yoda says, there is no try, only do or do not. So I did. I aim to keep my mind open, my body cared for, and maybe I will continue to surprise myself.

Given that its summer here, finally, I have switched to running mostly in the mornings, trying to catch the cooler part of the day. There have still been a few mornings though that were humid and warm. I almost wished the skies had opened up with full on rain, but it has not rained during my runs since the weather warmed up. I never used to understand people out running in the rain, but now I totally get it. I think I will love running best in the fall and into (and maybe through!) winter. At rest, I am a typical woman, meaning that I usually feel cold all the time, and want to wear sweaters and blankets once the fall and winter come, and even in the summer in air conditioned malls and offices. I barely ever sweated, and could often go without a deodorant.  Now that I am running, this has changed. It seems I run hot. I sweat copious amounts and need to drink water frequently. This is just wonderful (sarcasm) on the hot humid days. Now, I can wear tank tops and shorts and still feel warm even at rest. The exception is for about an hour, after I cool down following a run. Then I tend to get chills. Go figure. All I can say is that between the sweating, the sun screen, and the bug repellent, I really look forward to jumping in the pool or shower when I get done a workout.

On a side note, in relation to bugs, they have been fierce this year. I have been diligent about wearing the spray to keep them at bay every time I go outdoors for a run or yard work. However, I washed my car one night, and while I did use some, I guess I get a little splash happy with the hose when I am washing my car or something, as when I got done, I had numerous bites on my exposed legs, which is basically from just above the knee down to my ankles. This would not have been so bad, except my body does not do well with lots of bites, and essentially takes an allergic reaction. So the next morning, not only did I have itchy bug bites, but also an awful case of hives, that extended even onto my feet.. This was about 3 weeks ago now.  I have been using anti-histamines and creams and such ever since to keep the itching down, but I have still managed to scratch my legs. A lot. So right now, I have all kinds of scabby bites all down my legs. I can hide them while I go to work, and have been, but not so much when I run since I am wearing shorts. Also, I have to say that sweat and bug spray are great at irritating them even more, and when I am done a run its all I can do not to take a scouring pad to my legs. hehheh. So, next time I want to wash the car, I will do it in full pants, and still coat myself in repellent LOL.  For now, I just hope my legs will eventually heal up, and I can stop fielding questions about what happened to them when I am out on my runs.

"I love these shoes"
http://www.patthompsonsmudgepaintinggallery.com/

I am still loving my shoes. The rest of my gear is also working, so no complaints or issues to date. My right knee gave a few twinges today- this is a knee I have twisted (pretty severely)  twice over the last 15 years or so, so I will keep tabs on it, and pull out a brace if I need to. I am hopeful that as I continue this, and maybe lose a bit more weight, that it won't bother me too much. Now that I am going for a bit longer at a time, I am feeling the effort in a few more leg muscles. Nothing that concerns me, just the tired aches of several of them saying hello (or perhaps its more of a "hello, what the &@%$ are you doing?" ).

I don't like eating too much before I run, unless I get up a good hour or more before I head out, which apart from weekends is just about never. What I will have is half a container of Boost/Ensure.  Its light and does not make me feel full, but seems to give me enough of something to keep me going.  When I have time, I will have a bagel and maybe some juice. I have been cautioned on not having dairy before a run, so I will keep that in mind and switch my cream cheese for some peanut butter from now on.  Once I am done my run, then I usually feel hungry and can have my usual breakfast (oatmeal on weekdays, something with eggs on weekends). Overall, I think I have been consuming more than I used to eat, and my weight is still slowly dropping. Others are saying they notice a difference in my body, but I still don't really see it. Maybe my face is a bit thinner. Otherwise, my belly is still jiggling like a bowl of jello, and the undersides of my upper arms still catch the breeze like good spinnakers. LOL.

On the stats front, my weight is hovering between 171 and 175 pounds, depending on the day. My body fat is at 36%, and my BMI now reads as 28.9. So these numbers are saying that at least some aspects of my fitness are improving. I can feel it in how I don't get winded anymore when I go up the three flights of stairs at work, and how I am able to run for longer periods but my heart rate is keeping lower than max now (unless I push my pace heheh).  More interesting stats might be those of the workouts. I basically started in April, when I signed up with TNT. As of today, let's look at some of the cool stats for what I have actually done:

Count:                    49 Runs
Distance:                193.90 km
Calories:                 15,301 C
Time:                     31:59:25 h:m:s
Avg Distance:         3.96 km
Steps:                    201,266 s
Avg Speed:             6.1 km/h
Max Avg Speed: 6.6 km/h
Avg HR:                136 bpm

Otherwise, my concentration and memory are very slowly improving, I think. It still bothers me that I am not as I was before Kerry passed away. However, I remind myself to be patient, and not be too hard on myself. It will take as long as it takes. Since I am still grieving, and still cry and miss him, I guess I can't expect my mental health to be on the mend yet. I am still thankful for the running, as it really is one of the only times I can turn off the brain and just be.

Fundraising has stalled, which I expected. I did send out some letters to some of the businesses we frequented, and I continue to send reminders via my Facebook and Twitter, but given that I exceeded my initial goals, I am still very pleased with what folks have donated for this endeavor. I am not the type to hound people for cash, and I am not going to go door to door, or hold my hand out at some store. Nor am I prepared to stage a more involved fundraising event. At least, not this time. I simply don't have the time, or the desire in me, to do so. I am still adjusting to a routine without Kerry, and trying to figure out how to get all the needed work/chores done and still have time for running, gaming/TV, and seeing friends. So far I can fit in any 3 in a week, which means something gets left out. Since running is only going to take up more time as we go forward, I will have to work on efficiency in other areas so that I do not slip to even fewer things in a week.

Burying my sorrows in good deeds

So, another month has passed. Time is just flying by. I guess that's a good thing for the most part, as it means I am moving along in my life, and I am not getting stuck on Kerry's passing. Still, when I stop to think about the time that is still going by, I can't help but be sad that I am moving along without him. I miss him all the time, but I know he would not want me to dwell on something that I cannot change, and the life that I will never get back. I have to think about this new life I have, hard as that can be at times. I think he would be pleased that I am at least trying to find a life without him at my side- he as much as instructed me to do so in the letter he left me, and in our conversations before he went for that last treatment. I find a lot of strength and comfort in that letter, and in some of the various verses that exist and express similar sentiments.

I still have concentration issues. Talking with others who have lost loved ones, the consensus seems to be that a) its very common and normal, and b) most seem to think its some sort of preservation technique that the body employs, to prevent us from getting too fixated on things that might lead us to dark places. I am not sure if that's true or not, but I guess short of seeking more professional help, I will just have to work through my grief process and hope that as time passes, I can get back to where I once was in this respect. Oddly, running is one of the few things I am doing that seems to calm my brain down, and I don't feel all ADD-like.

Credit rosieradcliffe@hotmail.com of  http://atcexchange.blogspot.ca/

I have certainly been more social since Kerry passed away, more so than we ever were when he was with me. This makes sense, as while I enjoy my alone time, I no longer have someone with me on a regular basis to share things with, and humans are social beings. It's great that so many friends are suggesting get-togethers, movie outings, and the like. A large group of our friends came out early in May to help get my yard ready for summer. They descended on my exterior space and made short work of cleaning up winter debris, opening the pool, some painting, getting the mower and trimmer operational, and putting down some new seed. I feel incredibly blessed to have such amazing friends. I went to Ottawa Comicon with another friend, and we had a lovely time wandering the exhibits, taking in the panels, and admiring all those that came out in costume. Perhaps next year I will don a costume of my own when I go. :)

Fundraising is still progressing, albeit more slowly now. I have pretty much run out of my list of folks to email, and basically its down to those that have not been able to contribute thus far kicking in a bit when and if their funds allow. This is fine by me- I wanted to get the bulk of my fundraising done before real training kicks off in June, and I have raised more than I ever expected to. Plus, with summer weather finally here, there is a lot of yard work I now have to do, so my time is certainly less free these days. Anything more I can raise from here on in is gravy for the cause. :)

For the running, I am still doing pretty much every other day workouts. I have had to move a few around due to other things going on in my life, but still making at least 3 sessions a week. I am currently up to a mix of:
     Week 4          Walk 1 min, run 3 min, walk 1 min X 5 sets   (run 15/walk 10)
     Week 5          Walk 1 min, run 4 min, walk 1 min X 4 sets  (run 16/walk 8)
I am still taking things easy and only advancing as it feels comfortable to do so. When I get a coach, then I will listen to what they advise, but in the absence of that, I will err on the side of caution. Why am I mixing them a bit? Well, when I was just always going to the next harder one, I never felt like I was actually improving. Plus, sometimes the new one was bit difficult on my legs. When I alternate them, I get to see that I am indeed improving, as even after one session at a new harder one, going back to the previous one makes it seem easy by comparison :D. This makes me feel good, and makes me want to keep going. The easier one also gives me a chance to recover a bit while learning the new harder one, and with just one week of the mixed, I am able to just do the new one and feel good about it. And I like feeling good about the workouts, since I am still new to running as an activity. Oh, and my legs are not cramping so much anymore, so that's a step in the right direction too!

Brooks PureFlow 3.0

I have definitely found a preference between all my shoes. One pair made the workouts feel easier, faster, and gave me less issues with my muscles. That was the Brooks Pure Flows. I liked them so much that I went looking for another pair, but since the 2.0 are no longer readily available, I got the new 3.0 version. And I love them even more! Needless to say, I bought an extra pair to have around, just in case :) The other shoes do not feel uncomfortable really, but they do feel somehow 'wrong' after running in the Brooks. So, I think I have found my shoes :)  When I run in the Brooks, my feet just seem to roll into a nice stride, and I land much more midfoot, which seems to just be easier on my legs. I find I want to go faster and farther when wearing them.

Speaking of that, that's actually now my biggest issue- that I am going TOO fast while doing my workouts. I was finding it hard to get through all the running intervals, until I realized that I was not really doing an easy pace (for me) most of the time. Slowing it down made all the difference. But at least I can see that there is some need for speed in me LOL.  I am hopeful that proper training will get my endurance up, so that I can give the speed a chance without losing all my steam. My body seems to want to run at faster than 7 min/km pace, but I force it back closer to 8 or even slower...

I am tracking everything via the Garmin watch I got, so I was able to see that I do have a beat to my current stride. 150.  I love to run with my tunes, since I am thus far running alone. I thought, "Perfect! In my library I must have many 150 bpm songs!"  Um. No. I did a BPM analysis of my entire library and netted around a dozen songs only. So I went looking online to find more. I ended up finding 5 hours of pre-mixed current music (in 1 hr chunks) that are all around 150bpm.  I have to say, what a difference that makes! I love running with the right beat for me. I can do a few paces at that same beat, but no matter what I do, I feel more energized when running with the beat. I look at my watch less to see how much more time is left in my interval, and simply just move. When I am feeling a bit tired towards the end of my workout, the beat helps pick me up and keeps my legs going. Of course, one drawback is that I frequently want to break into dance rather than just run :)

On the stats part, I have not lost much weight, still hovering around 175-177 pounds. Perhaps the fat is going away a bit, but I don't really notice any changes. I am at 37.2% body fat, and still a 29.7 BMI. However, I feel healthier, and I like feeling a bit more empowered by the running. I would say that ,currently, the mental benefits of my endeavor are ahead of the physical ones. I don't think that's a bad thing.

Besides all the above, my friend "L" suggested that I volunteer at the Ottawa Race Weekend so I could get an idea of what a race venue was like. I ended up as a finish line volunteer for the Sunday races. This was the Kids Race, the Marathon, and the half Marathon. I have never been to any race, and I had no idea of the scope of it, or the utter chaos of that many people all in one place!  I also got to see pretty much every possible state a human can be in when they cross the finish. I was witness to the elites finish, and saw some of them who looked elated, and some that really had given all they had to cross the line only to collapse after. The regular runners finished with smiles, with tears, with grimaces of pain. Some looked fresh still while others were limping and staggering. Several collapsed. I was working just past the finish line, cheering and encouraging the racers to keep on going to the Gatorade, water, and medal areas behind me, while helping to keep an eye out for those that needed medical assistance. I am not quite sure how long I stood there, likely over 4 hours since I know I was there when the first place runner came in, and I was still there at 12:30 which was 3.5 hours later, but it was non-stop cheering and giving high-fives. I had no voice left and bruised palms, but I loved every minute of it. Every single finisher deserved that "Good job!" and "You are amazing!" that I gave them. Some looked like it was not a great day for them, but to me, I saw an awesome individual who just completed an amazing feat that I can only dream of doing. To me, simply finishing is an accomplishment to be proud of, even if it was not a personal best. It certainly reinforced my appreciation for this endeavor, and I got to cheer a few of the TNT folks that came in too.

One thing that I was definitely touched by was the number of runners who thanked me for being a volunteer. I know when I run, I will do the same, now that I know just what effort is needed to get a large event like this off the ground and operating relatively smoothly. It takes a huge number of volunteers to make an event successful. Below are my fellow finish line volunteers, in the group photo taken before the first racers (the kids race) started to arrive at the finish line. I think we were only a small number of something like 3000 folks that gave their time over the weekend!  I think I will volunteer next year too, unless I am one of the runners. :)